Calling a time out

I never really started the process of finding myself, until I truly listened.

I walk, unburdened and with a presence of mind that is indescribable, as words fail to encompass the peace that envelops me.

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Patapsco Valley State Park

Any excursion where I am able to absorb the majesty of a waterfall, is a segue into another realm of solace that I didn’t know existed.

Each one is different, every experience has a different frequency.

These waters have a baptismal power that is invigorating.

I suffer from migraines, but they don’t exist here.

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At the base of the Falls

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Overlook at paradise.

My visit to Hawaii consisted of me smiling for an entire week. I was empowered for the entire visit, being surrounded by water… That is unadulterated power and I was infected.

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I was lost, but I didn’t care.

Often, I journey alone because of this innate need to detox and be selfish. When I am alone in the confines of solitude, I operate on a higher plane.

Unlocking freedom and elements of my sanity on an incremental basis.

Closing my eyes, breathing deeply I often wonder…

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Herring Run flowing into the Back River

Is this a drug?
Am an addict?

But the presence of God says otherwise and I immediately know it to be true.

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Finding what was buried within.

As I back up my old photo’s to the Cloud.

I was drawn to this set of photographs, it was significant because it was during this walk that I wrote my first piece of poetry.

It was a organic act that unfolded without much fanfare.

As I walked through this area of Gunpowder Falls this past December.

I was accompanied by nothing other than the crunching of the snow beneath my feet and feeling as if I was impervious to the elements that seemed to say…

“You will freeze, you will regret not having those gloves that you forgot at home.”

But, I was looking for something that I eventually found.

Peace of mind, solace.

So, I walked.

Discovering a layer that I didn’t know I possessed.

Not to say that my poetry is any good, but it is the act of creating it, that makes me feel empowered and that is more important that any accolade I could ever receive.

Gunpowder Falls

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On the Horizon

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Looking out at the horizon…  Wrestling with the gravity …

Of the beauty that my eyes are bearing witness to.

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The wonderment.

The rhymthic splashing of the water against the rocks is entrancing and takes me to another place altogether where words fail me.

I’ve never walked alone …

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Often… I’ve felt as if I was alone to sort out the conundrum that life saw fit to scatter at my feet.

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But… Just when I was resigned to my fate and accepted solitude as my burden, I saw the manifestation of my faith in the distance.

And I took heart in the realization that I wasn’t alone.

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Then… I lost the grace that I thought was in my grasp… Crestfallen.

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I labored on.. Only to find that you were only leading me to the shores of my potential ripe … With the expectations and the blessings that you mandated me to reap.

You were my lighthouse.

Sometimes the silence has to be deafening

Gunpowder Falls

Gunpowder River

And here I sat, bewildered at the reality that the swirling demands of my life and what I consider my “priorities” always take shape and come into focus when I’m away from “it” all, sitting the lap of nature. Often I come to the relevation that I need to change course.

I woke this morning with the noble goal of clipping coupons and heading to the grocery store. But, this simple trip turned into something else altogether. I bypassed the grocery store altogether with the mandate of figuring “it” all out, today.

I drove purposefully until I found my way to Gunpowder Falls, these winding paths, trees, assorted streams and the rushing river have served as my psychiatrist countless times over the years.

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I inhaled deeply, kneeled down to lace up my boots, after observing the knot I rose to my feet and started walking, with the goal of figuring “it” out all out firmly planted in my head.

I walk until I am unable to hear the world that I left behind me and when this happens, a feeling of peace envelops me.

Making my way on the trail.

Making my way on the trail.

The ground is saturated with the rain from the past day so that I hear each step that I make with a sloshing consistency.

And much to my surprise many of the areas where I would sit engrossed in my thoughts in years past are flooded over, so I continuing walking North.

After coming to section of the forest that I would leisurely walk across to reach the other side, I discover it is flooded, but I am undeterred.

I push on.

I push on.

So, I group all of my items into my pockets and push ahead. I make my way across the stream without falling in, much to my surprise.

Keeping my balance, even though these boots are waterproof.

Keeping my balance, even though these boots are waterproof.

As I continue on the river widens, I cautiously navigate the rocks in the river to make my way across to a subsection of small islands, where I grab a seat to bear witness to it all.

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I sit here for over an hour being soothed by the sounds of the water crashing against the rocks. My mind conflicted with my futile pursuit of living life just to be living it, rather than living it with a purpose.

I’ve often heard people oversimplify the journey of life by saying that “We are born to die” but as I sit here I realize that we are born to leave a legacy, to leave the places that we inhabit in a better state than we found it in.

This is in direct contrast to being a taker rather than one who gives and enriches.

Then…

An overwhelming sense of clarity hits like a thud.

Solace is ever present here.

Solace is ever present here.

What is it that I am running from that I have to rediscover it here?

I’ve spent so much of my life looking at life as a adversary, angry because it has rebuffed my pleas of friendship when I would have been better served, respecting it as a teacher and being mindful that life is an exercise of living on borrowed time.

A bridge to somewhere

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Often I find myself in nature’s venues where I am drawn in by my surroundings, only to wonder if what my senses are bearing witness to is a metaphor for something larger.

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This area was serene, but not secluded by any sense of the word as the serenity of the surroundings were periodically cut with the buzz of cars crossing the bridge.

Be that as it may, I found that this was perfect marriage of  nature and that which is wrought by the hands of man.
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I soaked it in and marveled at the ebb and flow of the river. The contrast of the leaves and the trees was comforting.

As I headed back I couldn’t shake the feeling that the bridge was a not so subtle metaphor for my next part of my journey.
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Solace always puts it together

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Gunpowder Falls, Md

Sometimes hearing nothing helps you to hear exactly what is needed.

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Gunpowder Falls, Md

Water has the properties to flush toxins out of the body as well as flushing the toxins out of the mind.

Is it easier said than done? Possibly, but often we opt not to make it a priority.

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But isn’t sanity worth it or would it be too much like right?

Something for my headache

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I entered uneasy with a dull throbbing pain  reverberating throughout my head and I began to walk. I was not naive to the fact that my walking was serving as a metaphor for the toxic build up from the week that was I found myself trying to escape from.

I soaked in the sights, sounds and smell to no avail… I heard a dull drone of cars in the distance, which served to increase the power of my headache and I continued on, like a man on a mission and decidedly so, because I am literally at my wits end.

As continued walking the fog and incessant throbbing in my head began to wane somewhat and I instinctively looked up to see the point of no return.

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The area that nature forbade the intrusion of all things and elements foreign to her domain. The trees and her branches were welcoming and with a relative snap of the finger the headache was gone.

In lieu of the headache being gone a backlog of clarity descended upon me and washed away all that ailed me. So I found a spot in the middle of the stream where I sat, savored and fortified myself for whatever would see fit to obstruct my path in the coming week.

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The mist and the cool sensation of the water
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