While running from myself…

My walk – this journey.

Has been perilous at times, had I known that danger lurked at every turn, perhaps I would have been inclined to conduct myself differently.

Sulphur Bank trail in Hawaii.

Sulfur Bank trail in Hawaii.

I’ve learned that life is consistently inconsistent.

 

And until I realized that I was challenging life, instead of studying at its feet and gleaning the lessons that I was being peppered with.

Sauntering in Calvert Cliffs State Park

Sauntering in Calvert Cliffs State Park

I wandered about aimlessly, searching… Looking for my path.

But –

I did what was safe, as I stood deafened by the sound of monotony.

Turkey Neck Lighthouse - Elk Neck State Park

Turkey Neck Lighthouse – Elk Neck State Park

I knew that something was missing and I ran like Jonah because it beckoned.  Ignoring it, because fear overwhelmed and governed my actions.

On the shores of North Point State Park

On the shores of North Point State Park

I waited for a sign, but there was no thunderous voice from the clouds to guide me.

I directed my screams, my animus towards the heavens…

Beckoning…

God, Lord, Yahweh, Abba, Father, Mother, Jesus, divine omnipotence!”

I pleaded…

And often the tears streamed down my face…

Like hot lava, they burned, wiping them away only for them to return with a vengeance.

I demanded for my portion of grace to be dispensed…

And I waited.

Somewhere on the Atlantic.

Somewhere on the Atlantic.

Somewhere floating on the Atlantic.

Somewhere floating on the Atlantic.

Eventually, I tripped…

Into a chasm of humility – and I fell headlong into silence.

On the Patapsco River

On the Patapsco River

I was bewildered – as I tried to make sense of it, the answers eluded me.

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Gunpowder Falls

Wandering in the Patapsco

I wasn’t lost… But, in the same breath, I didn’t know where I was.

My burdens left me, but I longed for them, simply because I was acclimated to them.

I was drunk, intoxicated with…

Making my way to the Ocean in Calvert Cliffs...

Making my way to the Ocean in Calvert Cliffs…

Solace.

So I did the only thing I could do…

The thunderous voice was the sweet sound of solace.

The thunderous voice was the sweet sound of solace.

Now… I run towards it.

I bathe in the silence, it is my commune. The stench, the static from the world that I escape from is lost, if only for a couple of hours.

Being made whole is… Priceless.

On the coast of Hawaii.

On the coast of the Chesapeake.

The lushness of the Big Island.

The lushness of the Big Island.

God speaks loudly… Through the proverbial bullhorn of solace…

Pausing... To savor.

Cascade Falls.

Cascade Falls.

I can hear clearly, now.

God doesn’t have to shout, because whispering is enough.”

My drug of choice…

Gunpowder Falls is one of my favorite parks in Maryland and appropriately it is one of the places where I get the greatest respite from whatever is manifesting itself as a burden at the time.

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On Saturday I just wanted to get away… From the connectivity and be accompanied by the sound of my feet and the rushing of the river to the side of me.

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I like being in the midst of the park in the winter as I liken it to a sensuous experience of sorts. The leaves have fallen and the landscape is laid bare, Mother Nature is proverbially in the nude.

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Making my way across the rocks to the other side, requires some dexterity that I’ve honed over the years.

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This bridge was an interesting addition, I would typically get a running start and hurtle myself to the other side.

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After making my way to the other side the sound from the river overtakes all else. I knelt down to get a picture of this majestic grass standing tall against the background, refusing to acquiesce to the grip of winter.

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The Pot Rocks area of Gunpowder is probably the most empowering part. If you are nimble enough you can ford the rocks to make it to a group of mini-islands in the middle of the river.

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I often sit here, losing my connection with time and the burdens that drew me here.

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Sitting here… I realize that I breath more deeply than I do anywhere else and I wonder why. Is it that the water has a baptismal effect that purifies that what ails me or is it that this is the place that my burdens go to drown?

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A light sprinkles down on my hat less head as I sit unmoving, transfixed… All is well in the world.

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It doesn’t matter how many time I visit, I always see something different and I never feel the same.

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I make my way up to the overlook and the feeling that I was looking for hits me with a resounding thud; empowerment and clarity, and after receiving this, I pivot and make 1.5 mile walk back with an ever-present smile on my face.

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Grateful that this is my drug of choice.

Being made whole

I have had the privilege to travel the world and the benefit to experience the duality of solace and empowerment.

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I’ve learned that being still, is often the most logical course of action.

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Each time… 

I’ve stood at the juncture of the places, these bodies of water. My pride, vanity and the like was washed away.

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And I was made whole with humility.

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And it is a drug like no other.

Staying true to the focus

Everything that has its start in insignificance.

Runs the risk and indignity of being taken for granted.

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Walking along Grays Creek in Calvert Cliffs State Park in Maryland

But…

Staying true to the foundations of what we are. Allows for exponential growth that can and will boggle the mind.

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Continuing along Grays Creek.

Accusations of not being majestic enough must fall on deaf ears, if we are to persevere.

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The Creek turns into a bog...

Listening to the echoes of self expands the boundaries of what we thought we knew…

Teaching us that we know nothing. Thusly, we grow, gaining in power and influence.

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The Creek finds its beauty

When the clarity hits, we are like the torrential current of a stream. Who, what and why would anything dare to deny?

Our undeniable majesty and power, that was there all along. The only tool needed to expose it… Patience.