My walk – this journey.
Has been perilous at times, had I known that danger lurked at every turn, perhaps I would have been inclined to conduct myself differently.
I’ve learned that life is consistently inconsistent.
And until I realized that I was challenging life, instead of studying at its feet and gleaning the lessons that I was being peppered with.
I wandered about aimlessly, searching… Looking for my path.
I did what was safe, as I stood deafened by the sound of monotony.
I knew that something was missing and I ran like Jonah because it beckoned. Ignoring it, because fear overwhelmed and governed my actions.
I waited for a sign, but there was no thunderous voice from the clouds to guide me.
I directed my screams, my animus towards the heavens…
“God, Lord, Yahweh, Abba, Father, Mother, Jesus, divine omnipotence!”
And often the tears streamed down my face…
Like hot lava, they burned, wiping them away only for them to return with a vengeance.
I demanded for my portion of grace to be dispensed…
And I waited.
Eventually, I tripped…
Into a chasm of humility – and I fell headlong into silence.
I was bewildered – as I tried to make sense of it, the answers eluded me.
I wasn’t lost… But, in the same breath, I didn’t know where I was.
My burdens left me, but I longed for them, simply because I was acclimated to them.
I was drunk, intoxicated with…
So I did the only thing I could do…
Now… I run towards it.
I bathe in the silence, it is my commune. The stench, the static from the world that I escape from is lost, if only for a couple of hours.
Being made whole is… Priceless.
God speaks loudly… Through the proverbial bullhorn of solace…
I can hear clearly, now.
“God doesn’t have to shout, because whispering is enough.”
5 thoughts on “While running from myself…”
Reblogged this on ShunPwrites and commented:
From my website that I’ve neglected.
What has been your experience with your words coming back to echo, rather than haunt you?
This is beautiful. You ain’t the only “Jonah” out here, trust.
Thank you Miss. Ray,
Are you certain of this fact?
Yes I am. Just drawing from personal experience. We might not literally go to different places, but we run from things all the same.
Yes indeed. Humanity specializes in them abdication of its sacred duty!