While running from myself…

My walk – this journey.

Has been perilous at times, had I known that danger lurked at every turn, perhaps I would have been inclined to conduct myself differently.

Sulphur Bank trail in Hawaii.

Sulfur Bank trail in Hawaii.

I’ve learned that life is consistently inconsistent.

 

And until I realized that I was challenging life, instead of studying at its feet and gleaning the lessons that I was being peppered with.

Sauntering in Calvert Cliffs State Park

Sauntering in Calvert Cliffs State Park

I wandered about aimlessly, searching… Looking for my path.

But –

I did what was safe, as I stood deafened by the sound of monotony.

Turkey Neck Lighthouse - Elk Neck State Park

Turkey Neck Lighthouse – Elk Neck State Park

I knew that something was missing and I ran like Jonah because it beckoned.  Ignoring it, because fear overwhelmed and governed my actions.

On the shores of North Point State Park

On the shores of North Point State Park

I waited for a sign, but there was no thunderous voice from the clouds to guide me.

I directed my screams, my animus towards the heavens…

Beckoning…

God, Lord, Yahweh, Abba, Father, Mother, Jesus, divine omnipotence!”

I pleaded…

And often the tears streamed down my face…

Like hot lava, they burned, wiping them away only for them to return with a vengeance.

I demanded for my portion of grace to be dispensed…

And I waited.

Somewhere on the Atlantic.

Somewhere on the Atlantic.

Somewhere floating on the Atlantic.

Somewhere floating on the Atlantic.

Eventually, I tripped…

Into a chasm of humility – and I fell headlong into silence.

On the Patapsco River

On the Patapsco River

I was bewildered – as I tried to make sense of it, the answers eluded me.

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Gunpowder Falls

Wandering in the Patapsco

I wasn’t lost… But, in the same breath, I didn’t know where I was.

My burdens left me, but I longed for them, simply because I was acclimated to them.

I was drunk, intoxicated with…

Making my way to the Ocean in Calvert Cliffs...

Making my way to the Ocean in Calvert Cliffs…

Solace.

So I did the only thing I could do…

The thunderous voice was the sweet sound of solace.

The thunderous voice was the sweet sound of solace.

Now… I run towards it.

I bathe in the silence, it is my commune. The stench, the static from the world that I escape from is lost, if only for a couple of hours.

Being made whole is… Priceless.

On the coast of Hawaii.

On the coast of the Chesapeake.

The lushness of the Big Island.

The lushness of the Big Island.

God speaks loudly… Through the proverbial bullhorn of solace…

Pausing... To savor.

Cascade Falls.

Cascade Falls.

I can hear clearly, now.

God doesn’t have to shout, because whispering is enough.”

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