My walk… This journey…
Has been perilous at times, had I known that danger lurked at every turn perhaps I would have been inclined to conduct myself differently.
I’ve learned that life is consistently inconsistent.
And until I realized that I was challenging life, instead of studying at its feet and gleaning the lessons that I was being peppered with.
I wandered about aimlessly, searching… Looking for my path.
I did what was safe, deafened by the sound of monotony.
Something was missing… Something beckoned… But, I ignored it, because fear overwhelmed and governed my actions.
I waited for a sign, but there was no thunderous voice from the clouds to guide me.
I directed my screams, my animus towards the heavens…
“God, Lord, Yahweh, Abba, Father, Mother, Jesus, divine omnipotence!”
I pleaded, often the tears streamed down my face…
Like hot lava, they burned, I wiped them away only for them to return.
I demanded for my portion of grace to be dispensed… And I waited.
Eventually, I tripped… And I fell headlong into silence.
I was bewildered… I tried to make sense of it, but the answers eluded me.
I wasn’t lost… But, I didn’t know where I was.
My burdens left me, but I longed for them, simply because I was acclimated to them.
I was drunk, intoxicated with…
So I did the only thing I could do…
Now… I run towards it.
I bathe in the silence, it is my commune. The stench, the static from the world that I escape from is lost, if only for a couple of hours.
Being made whole is… Priceless.
God speaks loudly… Through the proverbial bullhorn of solace…
I can hear clearly, now.
God doesn’t have to shout, because whispering is enough.